Bible Study

Before the Vows: What the Bible Teaches Us About Pre-Marital Cohabitation

In an era where living together before marriage is increasingly common, many wonder, "What does the Bible say about living together unmarried?"

Tonya

Jan 7, 2024 — 6 min read

Stay true to what you believe is right for you.

While it doesn't directly mention modern cohabitation, the Bible is rich with teachings on love, marriage, and sexual morality that can guide us. Let's delve into a biblical narrative that sheds light on this topic.

The Test of Trust: The Story of Isaac and Rebekah

In the ancient landscapes of the Bible, there unfolds the story of Isaac and Rebekah, a narrative that, while not directly addressing living together before marriage, offers insights into the principles of trust and divine guidance in relationships.

Isaac, the son of Abraham, had reached the age where finding a wife was of importance. Abraham, his father, was determined that Isaac should marry someone from his own people and not from the Canaanites among whom they lived. So, he sent his most trusted servant on a mission to find a suitable wife for Isaac from his relatives living in his homeland.

Upon reaching the land of Abraham's people, the servant prayed for a sign to find the right woman for Isaac. It was then that Rebekah appeared, offering water to both the servant and his camels, fulfilling the sign the servant had prayed for. The servant learned that she was indeed from Abraham’s family and saw her actions as a divine indication that she was the chosen one for Isaac.

When Rebekah agreed to go with the servant and marry Isaac, whom she had never met, it was a leap of faith. Her journey to Isaac was marked by trust in God's plan and her family's wisdom.

Upon her arrival, Isaac was in the fields. When he saw Rebekah, he was moved. The Bible says that Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, married her, and loved her. This act symbolizes the formalization of their union. Their marriage was set upon a foundation of faith, respect, and adherence to the customs of their time.

Cohabitation Confusion: Unpacking the Bible's Stance on Living Together Pre-Marriage

There are verses that discuss principles related to marriage, sexual morality, and relationships, which are often interpreted as relevant to the topic. Here are some of those verses:

Hebrews 13:4: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

1 Corinthians 6:18-20: "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

1 Corinthians 7:2: "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband."

Ephesians 5:3: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people."

Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Your Most Asked Questions

Is living together before marriage a sin?

While these verses do not explicitly mention living together without marriage, they have been interpreted by many to imply that sexual relations and the full joining of lives (as symbolized by “one flesh”) are intended to be within the bounds of marriage. Consequently, these scriptures are often referenced in discussions about the biblical perspective on what does the bible say about living together without being married.

The question of whether living together before marriage is a sin is subject to interpretation and depends largely on one's religious beliefs and the teachings of their particular denomination or church. In traditional Christian teachings, sexual relations are generally reserved for marriage, as reflected in various Bible verses like Hebrews 13:4 and 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. These passages emphasize the sanctity of the marital relationship and often are interpreted as suggesting that sexual intimacy should be confined to marriage.

Therefore, many Christian denominations and churches teach that living together before marriage, particularly if it involves sexual intimacy, is not in alignment with biblical principles. They view marriage as a covenant between a man, a woman, and God, and believe that this covenant should precede cohabitation and sexual relations.

However, interpretations can vary among different Christian communities. Some may focus more on the commitment and love between the couple rather than the specific timing of events like marriage or cohabitation. Others might emphasize the importance of sexual purity and the traditional understanding of marriage.

Is sex before marriage a sin?

In many Christian traditions, sex before marriage, often referred to as premarital sex or fornication, is generally considered a sin based on various teachings in the Bible.

Several passages in the Bible are interpreted as discouraging sexual relations outside of marriage:

1 Corinthians 6:18-20: This passage advises believers to "flee from sexual immorality," stating that sexual sins are against one's own body, which is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 13:4: It emphasizes that "marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure," which is often interpreted as a directive to reserve sexual relations for marriage.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4: This text instructs believers to "avoid sexual immorality" and to "learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable."

Parents disapprove of living together before marriage

Dealing with parents who don't like the idea of you living together before marriage can be tough. Here's a simpler way to handle it:

Talk to Them: Have a real talk with your parents. Tell them how you feel and listen to their worries. They might be coming from a place of care and concern.
Understand Their View: Try to get where they're coming from. It could be their beliefs, culture, or just being worried about you.
Reassure Them: Let them know you're serious about your relationship and you've thought this through.
Set Boundaries: Remember, it's your life. You can listen to them, but you also get to make your own choices.
Find a Middle Ground: Maybe there's some compromise that works for everyone.
Be Ready for Anything: They might not come around, and that's something you'll have to be ready for.
Respect Their Beliefs: Even if you don't agree, it's important to respect where they're coming from.
Think About What You Want: Make sure this is what you really want and it matches up with your own values.
Get Support: If it's getting to you, talk to friends or other family members who get it.

It's all about balancing your parents' feelings with your own decisions. Keep the communication open, and try to be understanding, but also stay true to what you believe is right for you.

Does God bless unmarried couples?

n many Christian beliefs, whether God blesses unmarried couples depends on how people interpret the Bible. Traditionally, a lot of Christians think that marriage is special and that’s where God's blessing for couples really comes into play, especially for things like living together or having a sexual relationship.

But, there are also Christians who believe that what matters most is the love and respect in a relationship, not just whether you're married. They think that God cares about how you treat each other.

Then, some people focus on God's kindness and love for everyone, no matter their relationship status. They believe God's blessings aren't limited to just married folks.

Conclusion: A Heartfelt Prayer for Couples Contemplating Cohabitation

"Dear Lord,

As I ponder the decision of living together before marriage, guide me with Your wisdom. Help me to understand what the Bible teaches about love, commitment, and relationships. Give me clarity and peace in my heart to make choices that align with Your will and honor my beliefs and values.

Amen."